FAQ - Frequently Asked Questions
Do you ever have a chance to see the rest of area you live in?
Uh, bits and pieces. It depends on what you mean, really. I go to Colombo every Sunday for church and occasionally at other times for shopping or other things. Fahim and I go shopping to the various stores in our neighborhood. But almost everything we need is available in our neighborhood, so there isn’t that much of a need to go elsewhere. Add to that that Fahim is still catching up from two months of ignoring all his work in its various guises because of our internet relationship, and he’s a little swamped at the moment and doesn’t have a tonne of time. And, you know, when he comes home from work, like everybody else, he’s tired and wants to relax. So, yes, and no. We’ll see more when we have the time, need, or inclination.
I get the feeling that Fahim doesn’t have a car because you talk of going on the rickshaw on Sunday’s and for shopping.
No, no car, but he does have a motorcycle. We talked (very) briefly about getting a car, but the reality is that, between his motorcycle and trishaws, transportation is so much cheaper than if we had a car, and we have no need of one currently because of the convenience of his motorcycle and trishaws that there isn’t a point.
As another note, rickshaws are the vehicles driven by human power and do not exist in Sri Lanka any longer. Fahim says that Sri Lankans are a bunch of lazy gits who don’t want to pull other lazy gits around. 
The vehicles are called trishaws or three-wheelers or tuk-tuks, and they are powered by 2-stroke engines similar to scooter or some motorcycle engines.
Do they have malls like we have here?
Malls. Like you have there, no. Like West Edmonton Mall in particular, no. Malls in general? Yes. The mall we went to by Immigration in downtown - Majestic City - Colombo had at least five computer stores/internet cafes – those seem to be popping up all over the place here. The mall had probably something like 100 stores in it with three stories and walkways and halls in all sorts of directions. The stores are all much smaller than in North America – most stores are about ten feet by ten feet – although there are some that are larger, like Food City.
What is their clothing like there?
There are all sorts of different kinds of clothing here. Some wear native clothing, others wear western clothing.
For example, it’s fairly common to see men wearing sarongs out in public - but I have noticed that they tend to be older, poorer men. These men are also the ones who tend to wear flip flops - the really cheap rubber ones - most commonly.
Most men wear jeans, dress slacks, sometimes shorts. Shoes tend to be sandals, although some wear running shoes or, like Fahim, boots.
Women tend to wear dresses or skirts down to the ankle or saris - that’s pretty common here - and sometimes those pyjama type outfits you’ve probably seen on Indians (as in the sub-continent, not as in First Nations North American). Some wear pants. Generally, sandals are most commonly worn - nice looking dress sandals. Some wear shoes. Generally, most women tend to dress very nicely.
Children and teenagers - well, most of the time I’ve seen them, they’re wearing school uniforms which tend to be all white. Sometimes, some schools will elect to have other colors like grey or blue, but that’s the exception.
Do you have to dress in their traditional dress?
Good heavens, no. I wear the same as what I’d wear in North America – shirts, t-shirts, shorts, dresses, pants. It is important, though, to dress modestly here unless you’re at a hotel or resort. The culture is very modest, and typically, women will show no cleavage, will have their shoulders covered, and will be covered below their knees. Actually, most women wear ankle length dresses or are otherwise covered to ankle length, but they don’t stare at me for wearing shorts just above my knees. They stare at me because I’m pasty white.
Do you have to cover your face when you go out?
Hallelujah, NO! Most women here don’t cover their faces. Actually, I can safely say that I haven’t yet seen a single female wearing anything to cover their faces yet. I have seen a few women wearing scarves or headcoverings to cover their hair, though, but that’s also not very common at all. The vast majority of women have nothing covering their head or faces. Some women wear makeup, some don’t, some have long hair, some have short, some color hair, some don’t, – much the same as North America. But I have noticed a lot of women wearing nail polish.
Does Fahim have to be with you when you go out and about?
Oh heck, no. Are you kidding me?
No, seriously, it’s a good question. No, he doesn’t. Many women are out and about without anyone else, many women have jobs. This is a fairly liberal society in this regard – there aren’t any huge problems with women’s rights here. Or, at least, not from what I’ve seen. I’m treated differently because I’m a foreigner, but that means usually more respect, more patience, and they stop for me when I’m crossing the street. I tend to go places with Fahim, but let’s be realistic – I still have a hard time with understanding other people here who speak English – accents – and Fahim knows where he’s going, I don’t. I enjoy his company. Those are the reasons we tend to go places together, not because I can’t.
Why did you go to Sri Lanka Why didn’t he come to Canada
This is really two questions, but since they go well together, we’ll deal with both of them at the same time.
We didn’t have a whole lot of options. If he wanted to come to Canada, it would probably have been a six month or more waiting period until he could get a spousal visa - after we were married, assuming he could even get it. Rules for getting into Canada are very strict. We could meet up in some other neutral country - still, hassles and paperwork. Or I could go to his country - minimal hassle, minimal paperwork. Heck, I got my spousal residency visa, good for two years, in about four hours. Not bad. So this seemed the most logical choice if I wanted to be with him anytime soon.
As for me leaving Canada, well, that didn’t bother me in the least. I’m not saying I won’t miss the people there, and not saying I don’t like the wide open spaces, mountains, movie theatres, shopping, food selection, clean drinking water, good sanitation and things like that, but Canada’s got its problems, too. And given how much I’ve wanted to see the world and get out and yadayadayadayada, this seemed like the most logical choice. And it also ended up being the best choice. I love it here. Okay, I’d like it better if garbage wasn’t everywhere and if there was pollution control for vehicles, and there weren’t so many bugs, but other than that? It’s a pretty good place.
Are you planning on staying in Sri Lanka?
Yes, we’ll be living in Sri Lanka - for forever? We don’t know. We may emigrate to another country, we may wander from country to country, we may stay here. We haven’t entirely decided yet, and quite honestly, we haven’t had the time to think about it - our relationship happened rather fast. We have no plans to come to Canada to live. Quite honestly, I’d wanted to leave Canada for quite a while, so for me, this is as good an excuse as any.
When are you coming back to Canda? Will you visit us?
I don’t know when I or we will be coming to Canada. Flights are pretty expensive - $1400 USD for me to get here, and we got a pretty decent price, so it’s not in the budget anytime soon for the two of us to take a vacation to Canada. Having said that, if you want to visit Fahim and I in Sri Lanka, let us know. We have a spare room.
Wow! I didn’t know it was that hot in Sri Lanka!
Okay, not really a question, but we’ll let it go. :) It isn’t hot here - not really. It’s around 28-32 Celsius all the time, and that’s not bad. It’s just humid. All the time. Take a shower, dry yourself off, and there’s still that damp sticky moistness left on your skin. Take another cold shower, dry yourself off, and yeah, it’s still there. It’s always there. I hardly ever completely dry off. When I’m actively doing anything, the sweat pours off me. I’ve never sweated so much before in all my life! My hair will be mostly dry, I’ll do something like oh, scrub the floors, and five minutes later, my hair is soaked.
Kelowna, BC, Canada had much hotter summers - temperatures regularly hit 35-40 Celsius. The difference is that it was drier there and it cooled off at night to 15-25 Celsius. Here, it doesn’t cool down that much at night, maybe a few degrees.
Are you planning on working in Sri Lanka?
I’m not planning to. I’m planning on being a self-employed writer, and whether that means I only write novels and screenplays and short stories, or I do freelance writing, it amounts to the same thing.
On the other hand, if an absolutely fabulous dream job landed in my lap, I’d be crazy to say no.
In other words, planning, no. But who knows what the future can bring?
What’s a blog?
Blog stands for web log, which is an online diary, journal, rant, raving, place to philosophize, give your opinion on whatever, etc etc etc. So, if you want to call in an online journal or diary cuz that seems easier, feel free.
What’s a Jet-lag tab?
You can get them at the health food store, and they’re called "No-Jet Lag". They’ve been written up in all sorts of places as being good for preventing or minimizing jet lag, so I got them before the trip. I followed all sorts of other recommendations for avoiding jet lag, too, like drinking lots and lots of water, getting up to walk around as frequently as possible (when not sleeping), eating lightly, and putting yourself onto your destination’s clock as soon as the flight leaves. I think it’s worked well, but considering I’ve never flown that far before and had to deal with jet lag, how would I really know?
Were there really 7-Eleven’s in Hong Kong?
Yes, it was an actual 7-Eleven - same logo and everything. No kidding.
Who all attended the wedding?
The wedding was a very small affair - me, Fahim, and the two witnesses with a marriage registrar. But I’ve always wanted small, and quite honestly, I’ve always rather preferred the concept of eloping - I’m not for big weddings at all, never wanted a wedding dress or wedding cake or all the rest of it. And Fahim isn’t into all that stuff either, so this rather suited the both of us a whole lot better than anything approaching even medium sized would have.
How are the cats doing?
The cats are adjusting - shedding fur like crazy. They have a nasty habit of climbing on to the roof and wandering around where I can’t see them, but then again, as long as they’re not jumping into neighbors yards where they can’t get out, does it really matter? And at least they’re getting some exercise, right? You can read more about their antics in my blog.
We’re on the net looking for international jobs. When we look into Canada, we got lots of stuff happening in Iqaluit, Flin Flon, Northern Ontario, wonderfully warm and luxurious locations But from your rashes maybe 50 below with fur would be good???
The heat rashes are temporary - that’s the first thing you should know. Heat rashes exist as your body adjusts to the higher temperature / humidity. The other thing you should keep in mind is that I have a very long and drawn out history of heat/sun stroke, so I would assume from that that I am probably more sensitive to heat than other people, and therefore more likely to get heat rashes than you would. My last heat rash (I say last because I haven’t had any new flareups) is almost entirely gone.
The other thing about heat rash is knowing how to treat them. As soon as it starts to appear, douse thyself in talcum powder and it goes away much faster and doesn’t get anywhere near as bad to start with. The talcum powder does two things - 1. keeps the skin dry 2. reduces friction - both of which are important for treating it.
And the last thing you should know is that I have sensitive skin anyway - I get rashes from just about anything, anytime, anywhere, so would it be as bad for any of you? Doubtful.
Where is your town? What major city are you close to that I would find on a map?
As for the map, you’re more likely to find Battaramulla on the map than Pelawatte. Our town is just outside of Colombo, the commercial capital. Actually, we’re a half hour or twenty minute trishaw ride to Colombo. I don’t know how detailed your map is, but if you have the names of some of the suburbs just outside of Colombo, perhaps I can narrow it down for you? I don’t have a map in my possession yet, and Fahim is no great shakes at directions - he knows how to get somewhere, but north, south, east, or west - he doesn’t have a clue.
As for me, I’m so visual, I really need a map to sort things out. I can’t figure out where I’m going without seeing it on a map so I have some sort of frame of reference to attach it all to. So, even though I go to church in Colombo, and we went to Colombo to get my spousal visa, and we drove through Colombo to get here from the airport, I honestly don’t have a clue what direction is anything, and I couldn’t, for the life of me, give directions to any trishaw driver who didn’t already know where he was going. I need a map, darnit, and I’m still waiting for Fahim to send it to me - via direct cable connection of our two laptops, that is.
What is a Mossie?
Mozzie = mossie = mosquito, slang term, although in Sinhalese, it’s pronounced madhuruwa, or something sorta close to that. Yeah, not the answer you were looking for.
If it’s 10 pm here (Alberta), what time is it there??? We’re thinking it’s about 10am.
You’re right, for Alberta. For BC, 10 am in Sri Lanka is 9 pm - that’s now. When the times change in the fall, it’ll be different. Sri Lanka doesn’t have daylight savings time, so time doesn’t shift at all during the day.
Did you choose Hong Kong route for flying because it’s cheaper?
Yes, because it’s cheaper than flying via London and Dubai, but also because it takes less time by 10 or 12 hours. I had the cats to consider and we needed the shortest transit time possible. Also, we chose that route because I could fly Cathay Pacific the entire way as opposed to changing airplanes and airlines in every major city - which isn’t a problem for me, but would create a paperwork nightmare for Tellulah and Oberon.
Is Sri Lanka pretty much half away around the globe?
Compared to where? Okay, seriously, from Western Canada. Yeah, something like that. But not opposite sides of the world - we’re at 7′ north of the equator, not 49′ south of the equator. We’re at around the same latitude as Panama.
Are you enjoying the sun and the weather?
Yes, I’m enjoying the sun, but probably not as much as you’d expect. I mostly stay indoors during the day - out of the sun and under a constantly moving fan. I’ll wait to spend time in the sun until after I’ve acclimated a bit better. So far, I’m still finding it hot and humid enough that I’m still taking 2 or 3 showers a day. It doesn’t cool off at night here like it does in Canada. Okay, so the Okanagan is hotter in the summer during the day, but at night, it at least drops below 20 celsius. Here, there’s maybe 5 degrees of temperature variation from day to night, or maybe something like 10 or 15 degrees variation between any time of day to any other time of day in any part of the year. As in, the record low is probably something like 23, with a record high of something like 35. Okay, so I’m pulling numbers out of my butt, but I’m willing to bet I’m not far off.
I read the bit about Fahim’s parents reaction. WOW - how do you cope with that kind of rift? I guess it was more or less expected, but still, one would think that in this day and age (backwards tropical island or not) that relationships would have taken on a bit of a relaxed attitude.
Cope? Accept it and move on. Fahim told me that it would likely be their reaction in the very beginning of the relationship - as in, probably late June, perhaps early July. We’ve both known about it from the beginning. I know it’s nothing personal - how can it be when neither of his parents spoke to me, not even asking my name or anything else? For me, who has disowned her own parents, it’s not difficult to cope. Fahim, on the other hand, is upset about it, and understandably so. There’s a remote possibility that, if we do a Muslim wedding ceremony in front of an Islamic judge with papers to document, they may soften a bit. But - and a big one, too - it’s only a possibility, not a certainty. I’ve already told Fahim that, as long as it doesn’t go against my own beliefs, I’m completely willing. I’ve also told Fahim that I refuse to take the situation personally and I will do anything I can to make things easier to reconcile with them. But if they won’t even acknowledge him, there’s nothing for me to do. On the other hand, when/if we have children, I/we can mail them pictures and hope that helps. Who knows? There’s nothing that Fahim can do either, at this point. It’s completely up to them.
But no, this is fairly typical over here. Most marriages in Sri Lanka and India are arranged. What makes it worse for his parents, though, is that one of his aunts was at his parents house when we went there. If there had been no relatives, his parents could have denied to the rest of the family that Fahim had even married, and Fahim was prepared to let them do that as long as no one asked a direct question. He’s not ashamed of me, but he wants to make things as easy for his parents as he can. He understands that they value other people’s opinions more than the relationship with their own children. It’s skewed, but they don’t know any better. And they are otherwise very decent people.
You’ll have to e-mail me the spiffy recipes your using (with the exception of SQUID - ICK!!!!!). I want to experiment more with exotic foods.
Uh, recipes - they’re on my blog. Every single one of them. Embedded in the text of the blog. Uh, have you read my blog? But uh, no, no recipes. No recipe book. Just making stuff up as I go along with Fahim’s help. But I have considered setting up a page strictly for recipes.
Having said that, I did download some actual Sri Lankan recipes off some web sites. I haven’t actually looked at them - I need to - and figure out which ones are practical and which ones are more for events like, oh, company’s coming. Which won’t happen in the near future - we don’t have a dining room table yet. Oh hell, we don’t have enough dishes or cutlery or anything else either. That’ll happen when my stuff arrives. Not the table, but the dishes and other stuff.
And honestly, it sounds like you’re an angry racist. Squid are people, too!!!
The pink rice - what’s the actual name of the stuff?
The pink rice is actually officially red rice – I just call it pink rice because when it’s cooked, the part that’s normally white becomes pink. Check out 16 Aug 2003 blog. Red rice here is the same as brown rice there - the hull not stripped off, so not white. But brown rice isn’t available here, only red is. It must be either the orange soil or the variety of rice that’s sold locally. I personally would rather eat whole grain rice as opposed to white - more fibre, more nutrients, more healthy. Fahim doesn’t care, so I get my way. That’s why not white. Yeah, more information than you were looking for.
Are people there warm and friendly?
Yes, people here are warm and friendly, but I also gather from Fahim that here, because I’m white, I automatically have more status. Busses stop for me that wouldn’t stop for him. People are much more polite and gracious when I’m around than when I’m not. Things like that. It’s a remnant from the British colony days. At least, that’s what he says. He being Fahim, of course!
